


Crashes and Cravings

by salomemaranya



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Comfort Sex, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Canon, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:35:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29243691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salomemaranya/pseuds/salomemaranya
Summary: Levi gets barreled over while sightseeing. Levi gets whacked in the back (by accident), and reluctantly enjoys a massage. Levi gets a hug. It doesn't stop there. Somehow, all the touchy feeliness becomes a habit. And he starts wanting more.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Original Character(s), Levi Ackerman/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 7





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A group of Garrison soldiers encounters a problem.

Standing atop the Wall was nothing special. 

Okay, that was too harsh. 

A decade's worth of Garrison gate duty must have taken its toll on her. Seeing Mister Shadis return worn and hurt every expedition did not help either.

The Survey Corps may long for wonders beyond humanity's reach, but Elke? She only had eyes for her hometown. If this were off hours, her leather bound journal would already have new sketches. 

Nevermind that the view never changed.

Shiganshina represented a kind of freedom closer to her heart.

At fifty meters high, recognizing townsfolk took as much deduction as visual acuity. Mister Muller the woodworker and his apprentices ferried baskets and crates out of their workshop. Waddling steps belied the weight of the wares they carried. 

Eren, Armin, and the rest of the town's children, whose squabbles had become an unfortunately common sight, ran empty handed through the emptying streets.

Near the inner gate, rows of canvas shielding market stalls dropped one by one. It reminded her of flags lowered before dark at headquarters. Oh! Mrs. Lorena, too busy planning for the next day as usual, would again be among the last to pack up. 

Patrons swarmed inns, taverns, bars, and brothels scattered across the district. Elke would not be surprised if her Garrison colleagues, buzzed from chugging alcohol all day, composed more than half of those clients. 

In many ways, Shiganshina's resistance to change was frustrating, but it was that same stalwart character that made its people strong. 

With a parting glance at the district cradled by Wall Maria's protective embrace, Elke went over to her teammates bearing a happy smile. 

"What did you do this time?" Margit, her second-in-command, sounded more amused than anything. She playfully bumped shoulders with Elke. "You're never this cheery before a mission."

Their mission being, to kill the titans blocking the path of the Survey Corps expedition. 

They could do it tomorrow morning, but clearing the gate in the days leading up to the expedition produced far better results than a hasty, careless sweep. 

Leading a well-trained team was much less risky than working with half-baked squads.

She swung an arm around Margit in a half-hug, then released the brunette quickly to dodge a tickling jab. "The view's great. And look! It's literally a giant map of my patient rotations."

"Right. Your self-inflicted duty." Seated on a supply crate, Ignaz looked through the old spyglass that Elke had used earlier to spot titans from far away. "Speaking of, is the apothecary still giving you a hard time? Giving away medicine you made as an apprentice isn't breaking the law, or his business."

"The stingy old guy sure has a sharp tongue, but I don't want to bother Doctor Yeager. Oh, check if I missed anything." She handed Ignaz her journal. 

He flipped through the pages. "It's not the doctor he should be afraid of. I bet Miss Carla still packs a wallop."

"Ha! She's the best. But don't worry. I'm friends with the old man's suppliers, and his wife."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course, you are."

As he looked over the maps she had drawn for the Survey Corps, Elke saw their rookies conferring in whispers a few meters away. They were prodding each other to approach. "Hey, you guys. Any interesting news?"

"Yes! Um. We heard from Jan, who heard from Hannes, who heard from Klaus," Hans piped up. "They thought it was nothing, but after lunch, even the grocer was raving about a prostitute getting married."

Training them to be more grounded in the events at Shiganshina seemed to be paying off. She had an idea what this was about. "Go on."

"Dunno why it's a big deal, ma'am, but the guy is an innkeeper from the Interior."

"The lady had twins before he proposed." Stefan raised his hand the way a student in a classroom would. "The man didn't care who the father was. It's so romantic--hey, stop laughing!"

With the same raised hand, he swatted Hans when the latter mimed copying him.

"Pfft. It is, isn't it? Annika and Meinrad sure are perfect for each other." Elke ruffled Stefan's cropped blonde hair, and Hans' scruffy little braids. They beamed back. "Next time, we'll go to the market on off-peak hours. Bored vendors have the best stories."

With a pensive frown on his face, Ignaz murmured, "Lucky her. Leaving the job she hated must've been euphoric. Now look at us. Almost ten years babysitting the Wall, and being wannabe scouts for nothing. We shouldn't have volunteered for this."

"We? I'm perfectly fine where I am."

He scoffed. "Shadis will never acknowledge you as long as you stick with us 'lazy drunks'. Imagine Miss Carla's reaction when you die fighting titans. Best of both worlds!" 

Elke flinched, but recovered quickly. This was Naz. They did not parry with words, but flung them honestly like throwing knives. 

She fiddled with the ODM gear to hide a wry smile. "Yeah. Maybe if you became more of an asshat, your dad will want you back."

His wide eyed gaze snapped in her direction. Arms crossed, she raised an eyebrow. 

"I just, nevermind." He sighed, and returned the journal. "Don't know how much it'll help the scouts, but here you are. Mister Shadis better appreciate our hard work."

She hoped so too.

Margit, who had been watching wide eyed beside Hans and Stefan, jerked in realization. "Hold up. Almost bled to death by birthing twins, that Annika? She's never left town, so how did she meet--oh, I knew it! Everyone thought you were banging Erwin at Trost, not matchmaking!"

Amused by Margit's reaction, and relieved by the change in topic, Elke giggled. Heat rising to her face from imagined scenes with the blonde scout only increased the giddiness. "I ferried letters and pictures, that's all. Plus, even if I did meet Erwin there, no hanky panky would ever happen. Not with Mister Shadis in the room."

"Ugh, El. I don't need that image in my head." Ignaz loaded his sheath with ultrahard steel blades. "Let's get this mission over with. I need a drink."

Elke pretended to rummage for something in her pockets. "Wait. Chloroform works just as well. Even better, the erotic hallucinations would surely--"

Face red, he clapped his palms over his ears so abruptly it skewed his bandana. "No, I don't want to hear it."

"Your drunken tirades about 'the single life' say otherwise."

"Hey, piss off!"

Their raucous laughter blared free as the wind above the Walls. 

Gears were checked, bandanas were fixed, and orders were given. A trainee doctor, an aspiring seamstress, a councilman's illegitimate son, and two recruits rappelled down the wall to meet their target.

Directly blocking the gate, the one dubbed "Lazy Titan" laid on its back like a man watching clouds with a child's glee. 

Tweaking the glass green eyes, limp brown locks, and face frozen in a happy scream into appropriate proportions yielded a human face. And everybody had at least one weakness, albeit in this case, one meter long by ten centimeters wide at the axis cervical vertebra.

Pretending this was an unconventional, high-risk dissection wouldn't raise their chances of survival, but it was comforting to think that fighting titans wasn't entirely hopeless. 

The plan was thus: Ignaz, light and agile, would act as bait and retreat to make the aberrant move. Stefan and Hans would cover Margit and Elke as they secured the kill.

Before anything else however, Elke matched Ignaz's pace, and despite her own pounding heart, did her usual thing. "Remember the wasp that grew out of that spider?" 

His quick, shallow breaths stalled. True to form, he frowned in thought. "Huh?"

"What if titans looked like us because they were humans that had been eaten and distorted?"

"But that would mean the Survey Corps has been fighting their comrades for years. That's so weird. And how would that work? Do baby titans burst out of--" 

Then the ruse dawned on him. A soft smile bloomed on his face as he shook his head lightly. Red curls peeking out from his bandana swayed with the motion. 

She stopped, and signalled the others to do the same. "You good?"

"Yeah. See you." Slowly but surely, he continued to descend alone. Meter by meter, then by half-meter increments, human approached titan.

The aberrant suddenly twitched. Belly up, with palms and soles laid flat on the ground, it looked like a grotesque frog eyeing its prey.

Ignaz squeezed the control levers, to no effect. He tried the gas levers. Nothing. The terror in his eyes made her blood freeze. "Elke!"

"Hans, cover me. Marg, Stef, kill it!" She dislodged her grapple hook, and kicked off of the wall with a gas boost. 

She anchored high above Ignaz, so when the wire pulled taut, her downward plunge shifted into a pendulum swing that intersected with his position. "Naz, arms up!"

Maw wide open, the aberrant jumped. Elke released her left blade, and hauled Ignaz up by the torso. 

However, a moment was all it took for gigantic teeth to snap shut below his knees, taking both his boots and the swords that dangled from his gear wires. 

Blood gushed from the bite.

In retaliation, she slashed its eye, and left ultrahard steel plunged in the aberrant's socket. Hans cut off giant fingers aiming to pluck her from the air. Stefan and Margit dealt the fatal blow. 

Halfway up, Ignaz snapped out of his stupor straight into screaming panic. Her hold switched into a two-arm carry as she raced up the Wall, assisted by the inertia of continuous pulls and gas boosts.

Using his bandana, and the hair scarf that kept her braided bun intact, Elke tied a tourniquet around each stump to stem the bleeding. 

She glanced towards the supply crate where her med kit was, but doubted her experience would serve her well.

Sewing this wound shut applied similar principles as sealing sawn off thumbs and fixing torn vaginal walls, she knew this. And yet, the fear of inflicting worse on her already suffering friend was unthinkable.

To Doctor Yeager it was. 

Detaching the heavy, bulky parts of Ignaz’s ODM gear, while necessary to lessen the travel time, made him twitch. His eyelids fluttered. His skin paled. 

Every pained groan dug a hole in her chest. An equipment malfunction, of all the times! 

Could she have been the bait instead? Should they have fought better for mounted cannons to be installed up here? What life awaited Ignaz after this? 

“It’s--it's alright. Stay with me.” Blinking back tears, she secured Ignaz in her arms, and tried to stand quickly without jostling his injuries.

Hans stumbled atop the Wall, followed by Margit and Stefan, also alive and well.

A sudden gush of relief warmed Elke's cold, blood-stained hands. Her breathing eased. Mind muddled with should haves and could haves cleared of irrelevant thoughts. Only what must be done mattered. 

"We're off to the Yeager's!" She sprinted towards Shiganshina.

Early sunset due to the Wall's shadows allowed for enough daylight en route to their destination. 

Her gear was functional and well-maintained. 

Marg could deliver the verbal report to their squad leader, debrief the team, and handle cleanup in her stead. 

Ignaz was young. Recovery was within reach should he make it past the surgery. The maximum speed afforded each crank of compressed gas allowed for a timely arrival, considering the shortest possible route crossing the main street.

Shouts followed behind her, but their words were drowned by the wind. Navigating Shiganshina didn't need thinking. She only had to hurry. 

Faster.

Faster!

It was only as she retracted a hook and failed to launch another that the repeated yells made sense. 

She had run out of fuel.


	2. Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi catches a soldier from the sky

The two-day expedition starting tomorrow was Levi, Isabel, and Farlan's last chance to steal the evidence against Lovof. He could take on Erwin Smith alone if it reduced the risk for his friends, but he had promised them they'd do it together. 

Consumed by thoughts of the mission, Levi ignored the glares and pitying stares from the people of Shiganshina as the Survey Corps rode inside the walled district late in the afternoon. 

Isabel leaned her head closer to his. She had no trouble balancing on horseback despite being a beginner, not that Levi doubted her skill. "They don't like these guys at all."

"Who would? They're a bunch of pricks," he said. 

Isabel clapped a hand over her mouth to muffle her giggles. 

"Hange is nice," she argued.

Levi raised a thin dark eyebrow. "That's just the candy talking."

Farlan snorted, and shifted his horse closer to join in on the conversation. "Thanks for not sharing, by the way."

The redhead grinned without shame. She did boast about enjoying the sweet Hange gave her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

The negative reception from the civilians might have affected Levi had he, Isabel, and Farlan truly belonged with the scouts. Their squadmates Flagon and Sairam, riding a few horse lengths away, at least had enough spine compared to other scouts who hunched or turned away from the crowd.

He didn't care. Only their real purpose mattered; an opinion that all of them shared, though his friends were currently preoccupied with the blend of colors above (and the view around) them.

Understandable distractions, in his opinion. Dawn and dusk further pointed out the difference between this place and their former home. It held the promise of more days below the open sky. 

No ceilings, indeed.

"Come back at sunset if you want dinner," Flagon said, after the horses had been sheltered in the stables at the Shiganshina headquarters. "Otherwise, return before dawn, or we'll leave you behind."

The man looked less constipated after seeing their skill firsthand, yet the judgement of their background remained in his eyes. He just knew better than to say it.

Isabel bounced into a salute, and Farlan smirked as he did the same. 

Levi crossed his arms. "Yeah, sure."

The squad leader twitched, pursed his lips, then turned on his heel.

Sairam gave the three a sidelong glance. "Stay out of trouble."

Levi kept a calm facade. Maybe they should raise a ruckus just to piss him off. Before things escalated however, Sairam followed the squad leader inside the Corps's office and temporary lodgings.

Recruits from another squad yet to enter the building nudged each other as if daring to approach the former thugs, but a single look from Levi scared them off, which left the three on their lonesome.

Farlan yawned and stretched his arms. "Might as well look around, yeah?"

Isabel nodded vigorously. 

Levi shrugged. He couldn't begrudge them the chance, and he was curious despite himself. They didn't have much time for sightseeing; already their shadows stretched in front of them. "Do what you want." 

They were obviously broke and couldn't buy anything, but the novelty of the town made up for it. Well-kept houses and buildings, varied in make and size, lined the streets. 

The air too smelled different, and filled his lungs fuller than stale air beneath the earth ever did. He felt the wind on his face, and had to squint due to dust that the breeze carried along. He'd have to clean his boots and clothes at the nearest possible chance.

People that passed them moved with bodies made strong by sunlight and enough food. No one lay on the streets weak and starving. 

It had been years since he remembered his mother, but his heart twinged at the realization that she might have survived had they lived here instead. Shops lining the street already presented many alternative jobs that she could have had in this district. More importantly, a simple visit to the doctor before the sickness worsened could have saved her.

He refused to dwell on it. That path only led to pain. In his future lay the hope of freedom with his friends.

Speaking of them, Isabel kept pressing her face against shop front windows, which earned her curious glances from shopkeepers and passersby. The energetic girl flitted to and fro various establishments, though most were closing for the day. 

A fully equipped soldier acting like a kid should have looked ridiculous, but it didn't. Not at all. His lips almost twitched at her antics.

Levi was also curious, but all he did was walk closer to the shops and glance at the wares on display.

Farlan, with a wistful look on his face, walked beside him a few meters behind Isabel. "I wonder how everyone's doing back home. They'd have liked it here."

He nodded. "The sun would be good for them." 

"Let's get them citizenship too. Easy peasy, with the three of us together." The taller, blonde man playfully bumped Levi's shoulder, unaware of his leader's earlier misgivings. The latter pushed back, and nearly knocked Farlan off balance into a wall. "Hey!"

Levi heard the whir of the maneuver gear first. 

Something or someone crashed on the roof to his left, five to six meters high. Slate tiles flew overhead, and shattered upon impact.

He tensed. 

His mind immediately went to the worst possible conclusion--that the jig was up. 

Farlan, alert as always, took out his controller grips to follow Levi's lead.

Across the street, Isabel could be targeted first as she was separated from them. Levi called out to her, but whatever she saw had the redhead stare open mouthed at the roof. 

He dashed to the middle of the street.

Time seemed to slow as a soldier, from the Garrison by the roses on her jacket, barreled down in his direction. Her eyes widened at the sight of him.

"Move away!"

He didn't know which pissed him off more: the determined look on her face, or the dismissal of his ability to help. 

She twisted in midair to bear the brunt of the fall, or she would've, if he obeyed like a good little soldier. With all these people watching, he didn't need the unnecessary drama from letting two soldiers splat dead on the dirt.

Levi braced for collision. Legs spaced apart, one foot slightly behind the other. Shoulders relaxed. Arms outstretched.

Not for long, the soldier's back slammed against his chest. Wire reels struck him straight in the gut as the combined weight of two people almost snapped his spine.

Her head would have crushed his nose if not for his fast reflexes; too bad her cheekbone still ended up whacking his temple. 

Jaw clenched in effort, he locked his arms around her chest and shoulders, then twisted sideways to follow through with the motion, and kill the speed of the fall. His boots carved marks into the dirt before they skidded to a stop.

Nosy bystanders buzzed like flies on a pile of shit, flapping their useless mouths instead of running to a doctor.

She leaned on him, and rested her head against his, as they both panted for breath. Foul-smelling steam wafted from her right sleeve. 

The loud thud-thud, thud-thud in his ears slowly calmed.

To her credit, she didn't plonk face first on the ground when he let go, but whirled around and almost slapped him with her braided ponytail.

He reared his head back. "Oi." 

"Gas, please." Alert green eyes shifted from him, to Farlan, then to the street lined with onlookers. Poised to move, she could probably mow them all down to seek aid.

"Fine. Chill the fuck out." He unlatched one canister from her maneuver gear.

Farlan took the other with a reassuring grin. "We got it."

Rushing over, Isabel tossed them a gas container each. 

The soldier focused on them as though memorizing their faces. She looked calm enough, but he knew better than to judge outward appearances. "Thank you."

Isabel grinned. "Anytime!"

He and Farlan installed the fuel cans quickly, regardless of the mess, or how the injured redhead kept switching faces with someone else in his head.

The auburn hair of the injured guy, a shade so similar to Isabel's, conjured dreadful scenarios of her suffering the same fate, and Farlan having already been killed by vague giant monsters. 

His chest tightened. 

For the first time in a long while, Levi was afraid. 

Screw the promise. They could be angry all they wanted after everything was over. As long as they were alive, he could live with their resentment.

"I'll return them, promise!" The Garrison soldier's earnest tone dragged him back to the present. 

He dipped his chin, half distracted by the sheer teary-eyed gratefulness aimed squarely at him. Rarely did people ever look at him like that. As if he was a good man.

Without another word, she fired a hook to a second storey wall and sped away. Roof tile fragments and blood stains littered the ground.

A bunch of pimply brats carrying saws and hammers began to clear out the debris while praising both "Miss Elke" and the scouts.

A window opened and countered the claim, saying they were all tax wasters, and that that woman was a vandalizer. 

Isabel began to yap away in defense of her brave "friend". Farlan looked on in amazement as more windows opened, and curious shopkeepers exited their stores to see what was going on. 

The streets were no longer empty despite the dying light 

Levi grabbed the back of Isabel's collar. "Flagon would shit bricks if he sees this." 

Farlan's fart would explode out his ass if he kept laughing any longer, so Levi spared his friends the trouble, and dragged them both away.

Once they were alone again, he frowned at his dirtied hands. To his dismay, getting something to wipe them would stain his jacket too.

"Nice catch, by the way," Farlan quipped, though he balanced the teasing by passing his handkerchief. 

Wielding a deadpan glare, Levi ignored the ache in his lower back and shoulders when he snatched the clean, folded cloth. 

Isabel clutched two empty canisters. "Did a titan do that?"

"Probably. Remember Flagon's lecture? Titan blood fizzles into steam, and the Garrison helps us on expeditions. It checks out," said Farlan.

Doubt and worry settled heavily in Levi's heart. If that could happen to a Garrison soldier stationed at the Wall, worse awaited those who ventured beyond it.

Out of the pan and into the fire. 

"I heard they don't really train much. Maybe that's why he got injured." Isabel looped her arms with theirs, as if sensing his mood. "Anyway, we better go. I don't want to miss dinner."

Farlan sighed. "Can't waste free food. Too bad we didn't see much of the town."

"Let's travel around when we get back!"

"We won't have time for that, dummy. Focus on our real job."

Levi kept his mouth shut while they bickered, as he revelled in the presence of his friends. Every once in a while he thought of the woman who fell from the roof, the reds and purples of dusk, and other vivid sights that he would never have seen without the sun.


	3. Threads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doctor Yeager and Elke treats Ignaz's amputated legs. While at it, she thinks of the scouts who helped them. The future seems both hopeful and bleak.

Ignaz thrashed against Elke's hold. He snapped his face away from the chloroform-laced cloth. All the while, the stick he bit to protect his tongue muffled pained screaming.

"Naz, you need to breathe it in," she pleaded.

Undeterred, Doctor Yeager cleared damaged skin and muscle. The tibia and fibula, bones of the lower leg, peeked white and bloody from the site.

Miss Carla laid down a basin at the foot of the cot. The amputation knife she handed directly to her husband. 

"Hold him still," he told Elke.

The back and forth of the blade on his bones grated on her ears. Ignaz writhed. She clutched his hand, and smoothed back the hair plastered on his forehead until the anesthesia took effect.

But her eyes focused on the stroke and angle of the knife. The force applied. Where her teacher braced his other hand. How Miss Carla helped apply antiseptic. 

Doctor Yeager laid the intact skin flaps over the open wounds. He explained particulars while sewing them shut. And while at the remaining leg, he glanced up. "Elke, finish the suture."

Though her heart raced, she copied what he did after washing her hands. 

Under, over. 

Under, over. 

Under, over. 

Again. 

Whether in military training, sketching, or medical procedures, that her hands never shook had always been a point of pride. There was no great secret. Elke simply thought of comforting things while her body applied what it learned.

She recalled the gut-wrenching fall. How desperate her brain thought for a way to spare Ignaz. 

Then out of nowhere, a dark-haired scout was there. He stood proud and sure of his strength. Even as they collided in a semblance of an embrace, not once did he seem unsure or in pain. Though he must be.

All three of their faces--the girl who lent her fuel without hesitation, the blonde with the kind smile, and her strong, stubborn savior--were burned in her memory. 

None of them had the uncertainty of rookies, or the awkwardness of recent transfers. They had not been present at the joint training months ago, nor the one right after the Trainee Corps graduation.

So where did they come from? Why were they unphased by severe traumatic injury?

The aches in her back and chest enforced the memory of being held safe and tight.

Under, over. 

Under, over. 

Loop.

Knot.

Cut.

Doctor Yeager patted her shoulder. "Good work. I'll handle the rest."

Soon, lamplight flickered across Ignaz's bandaged stumps.

Elke slumped to the floor. "Will he live?"

"We'll know once he wakes up." He stood, and massaged his neck. “Even then, amputations can cause death even a month or a year after surgery.”

No. No, she did not endure ridicule from male apprentices and established doctors alike just to give up on her best friend. 

She shot to her feet. "There must be something we could do."

"Elke." The warning in his tone did not deter her.

“I know. Risks, no matter how reduced, always exist. But Naz is young," she insisted. "Anything from fresh air to good food could raise his chances."

"You have to accept that he might die despite your efforts."

"Only after we stack the odds in our favor."

Miss Carla smoothed down Elke's hair. "Of course you'll find a way to help him."

It had been years since the former bar waitress became Mrs. Yeager. Elke was no longer a lost, starving child, yet she still calmed at the touch.

Husband and wife shared a silent conversation.

The doctor put the basin in the sink. "I'll have my colleagues in the Interior look into it." 

Her brows raised in surprise. But she did not have the chance to reply.

Miss Carla peered through the window. "Your team is waiting out there in the dark."

"What? Oh, those guys." In quick practiced motion, Elke re-equipped the ODM gear. "I have to drop by the Survey Corps office too, so I might return late. Is that all right?"

Soapy forceps plopped back in dirty water. Doctor Yeager looked confused. "Why ever not?" 

"Wait." Miss Carla fussed over Elke's blood-stained uniform. "I don't know what Keith was thinking, encouraging this dangerous work."

"It was a scout that saved us. Just like Mister Shadis did back then." So long ago.

"At least eat first. And change clothes."

Elke shook her head. She couldn't stay any longer than this. It's too much. "I don't want to impose."

"We'll go over post-surgery care when you get back." Doctor Yeager smiled over his shoulder. 

Her eyes felt hot.

When she was young, Elke used to daydream of a cozy home. Her hands would move across paper to doodle vague human shapes. A mom. A dad. Siblings who were not mean like the other orphans. No one would rip her drawings or joke about her crooked tooth when they're around. She would not let anymore make fun of them either. 

She did not know when home took the form of a house that was not hers. Or when blurred figures became people. 

Mom was beautiful, headstrong, and fiercely protective. 

Dad was calm, smart, commanding, and brave. 

Sister, reliable and skilled, was skilled at both battle and needlework. 

Brother--

Her brother survived because they all helped him. Like a real family.

"Say hi to Keith for us," added Miss Carla. 

"Yes, mom." 

Elke froze.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Using muscle pain ointment filled the dorm room with the soothing scent of lavender. Thinking her ascot-wearing savior might need the medicine too, Elke put the small jar in her skirt pocket.

She then tied the laces of her blouse. It fit perfectly, as expected of Margit's handiwork. "I can't believe I said that." 

Marg patted Elke's hair dry with a towel. "You got a hug out of it, so what's the problem?"

"It's strange to think of Miss Carla as 'mom', but not Doctor Grisha as--ow!" Elke cupped her reddened cheek.

"Stop overthinking. Describe the guy who caught you instead. Anyone we know?"

"Are we not going to talk about--"

"Come on. Do it while I braid this mess of a mane." 

She appreciated the gesture, but skirting around the issue would not solve it. "I'm quitting."

"What?"

"I'll be a doctor. Paid and licensed." There was no use staying at the Wall. Mister Shadis would not need her maps with the long range formation in the works.

Margit dug her chin in the crook of Elke's neck. "And our goal?"

"We can work on both," she said through gritted teeth. Her friend knew how ticklish that spot was. "Naz can't stay in the sick bay forever. He needs us." 

"No more hungry peasants. No more abandoned children. No more cruel masters." Margit crossed her arms. "I love Ignaz like a brother, but giving up on our dream for a single person?"

Elke grabbed the gas canisters on the top bunk. "Last time I checked, Naz is part of humanity too."

"He can't do anything without his legs."

"So you think he's worth less because of that."

"We're not even sure he's gonna make it!"

Her blood boiled. "I don't know what vague notion of humanity you're fighting for, but if you can't care for a single person, then it means nothing."

"We can't be selfish--"

"That's because you have no idea what it feels to have no one!" 

"El!"

"Miss Carla has her own family. So do you. Mister Shadis has the Survey Corps." Her breath hitched. "I only have Naz. And he's dying. Do you understand? Of course you don't!"

The door slammed shut on her way out.

She had ten minutes to compose herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to comment what you think of the story so far! Thanks for giving it a try. 
> 
> If you're curious what Elke looks like, here:  
> https://bit.ly/3jHmFQk
> 
> Next chapter, we'll see Levi again.


	4. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Garrison team helping out the Survey Corps encounters a problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elke (Éhl-kah)

Standing atop the Wall was nothing special. 

Okay, that was too harsh. 

A decade's worth of Garrison gate duty must have taken its toll on her. Seeing Mister Shadis return worn and hurt every expedition did not help either.

The Survey Corps may long for wonders beyond humanity's reach, but Elke? She only had eyes for her hometown. If this were off hours, her leather bound journal would already have new sketches. 

Nevermind that the view never changed.

Shiganshina represented a kind of freedom closer to her heart.

At fifty meters high, recognizing townsfolk took as much deduction as visual acuity. The Mister Muller and his apprentices ferried baskets and crates. Their waddling steps belied the weight of the wares they carried. 

Eren, Armin, and the rest of the town's children, whose squabbles had become an unfortunately common sight, ran empty handed through the emptying streets.

Near the inner gate, rows of canvas shielding market stalls dropped one by one. It reminded her of flags lowered before dark at headquarters. Oh! Mrs. Lorena, too busy planning for the next day as usual, would again be among the last to pack up. 

Patrons swarmed inns, taverns, bars, and brothels scattered across the district. Elke would not be surprised if her Garrison colleagues, buzzed from chugging alcohol all day, composed more than half of those clients. 

In many ways, Shiganshina's resistance to change was frustrating, but it was that same stalwart character that made its people strong. 

With a parting glance at the district cradled by Wall Maria's protective embrace, Elke went over to her teammates bearing a happy smile. 

"What did you do this time?" Margit, her second-in-command, sounded more amused than anything. She playfully bumped shoulders with Elke. "You're never this cheery before a mission."

Their mission being, to kill the titans blocking the path of the Survey Corps expedition. 

They could do it tomorrow morning, but clearing the gate in the days leading up to the expedition produced far better results than a hasty, careless sweep. 

Leading a well-trained team was much less risky than working with half-baked squads.

She swung an arm around Margit in a half-hug, then released the brunette quickly to dodge a tickling jab. "The view's great. And look! It's literally a giant map of my patient rotations."

"Right. Your self-inflicted duty." Seated on a supply crate, Ignaz looked through the old spyglass that Elke had used earlier to spot titans from far away. "Speaking of, is the apothecary still giving you a hard time? Giving away medicine you made as an apprentice isn't breaking the law, or his business."

"The stingy old guy sure has a sharp tongue, but I don't want to bother Doctor Yeager. Oh, check if I missed anything." She handed Ignaz her journal. 

He flipped through the pages. "It's not the doctor he should be afraid of. I bet Miss Carla still packs a wallop."

"Ha! She's the best. But don't worry. I'm friends with the old man's suppliers, and his wife."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course, you are."

As he looked over the maps she had drawn for the Survey Corps, Elke saw their rookies conferring in whispers a few meters away. They were prodding each other to approach. "Hey, you guys. Any interesting news?"

"Yes! Um. We heard from Jan, who heard from Hannes, who heard from Klaus," Hans piped up. "They thought it was nothing, but after lunch, even the grocer was raving about a prostitute getting married."

Training them to be more grounded in the events at Shiganshina seemed to be paying off. She had an idea what this was about. "Go on."

"Dunno why it's a big deal, ma'am, but the guy is an innkeeper from the Interior."

"The lady had twins before he proposed." Stefan raised his hand the way a student in a classroom would. "The man didn't care who the father was. It's so romantic--hey, stop laughing!"

With the same raised hand, he swatted Hans when the latter mimed copying him.

"Pfft. It is, isn't it? Annika and Meinrad sure are perfect for each other." Elke ruffled Stefan's cropped blonde hair, and Hans' scruffy little braids. They beamed back. "Next time, we'll go to the market on off-peak hours. Bored vendors have the best stories."

With a pensive frown on his face, Ignaz murmured, "Lucky her. Leaving the job she hated must've been euphoric. Now look at us. Almost ten years babysitting the Wall, and being wannabe scouts for nothing. We shouldn't have volunteered for this."

"We? I'm perfectly fine where I am."

He scoffed. "Shadis will never acknowledge you as long as you stick with us 'lazy drunks'. Imagine Miss Carla's reaction when you die fighting titans. Best of both worlds!" 

Elke flinched, but recovered quickly. This was Naz. They did not parry with words, but flung them honestly like throwing knives. 

She fiddled with the ODM gear to hide a wry smile. "Yeah. Maybe if you became more of an asshat, your dad will want you back."

His wide eyed gaze snapped in her direction. Arms crossed, she raised an eyebrow. 

"I just, nevermind." He sighed, and returned the journal. "Don't know how much it'll help the scouts, but here you are. Mister Shadis better appreciate our hard work."

She hoped so too.

Margit, who had been watching wide eyed beside Hans and Stefan, jerked in realization. "Hold up. Almost bled to death by birthing twins, that Annika? She's never left town, so how did she meet--oh, I knew it! Everyone thought you were banging Erwin at Trost, not matchmaking!"

Amused by Margit's reaction, and relieved by the change in topic, Elke giggled. Heat rising to her face from imagined scenes with the blonde scout only increased the giddiness. "I ferried letters and pictures, that's all. Plus, even if I did meet Erwin there, no hanky panky would ever happen. Not with Mister Shadis in the room."

"Ugh, El. I don't need that image in my head." Ignaz loaded his sheath with ultrahard steel blades. "Let's get this mission over with. I need a drink."

Elke pretended to rummage for something in her pockets. "Wait. Chloroform works just as well. Even better, the erotic hallucinations would surely--"

Face red, he clapped his palms over his ears so abruptly it skewed his bandana. "No, I don't want to hear it."

"Your drunken tirades about 'the single life' say otherwise."

"Hey, piss off!"

Their raucous laughter blared free as the wind above the Walls. 

Gears were checked, bandanas were fixed, and orders were given. A trainee doctor, an aspiring seamstress, a councilman's illegitimate son, and two recruits rappelled down the wall to meet their target.

Directly blocking the gate, the one dubbed "Lazy Titan" laid on its back like a man watching clouds with a child's glee. 

Tweaking the glass green eyes, limp brown locks, and face frozen in a happy scream into appropriate proportions yielded a human face. And everybody had at least one weakness, albeit in this case, one meter long by ten centimeters wide at the axis cervical vertebra.

Pretending this was an unconventional, high-risk dissection wouldn't raise their chances of survival, but it was comforting to think that fighting titans wasn't entirely hopeless. 

The plan was thus: Ignaz, light and agile, would act as bait and retreat to make the aberrant move. Stefan and Hans would cover Margit and Elke as they secured the kill.

Before anything else however, Elke matched Ignaz's pace, and despite her own pounding heart, did her usual thing. "Remember the wasp that grew out of that spider?" 

His quick, shallow breaths stalled. True to form, he frowned in thought. "Huh?"

"What if titans looked like us because they were humans that had been eaten and distorted?"

"But that would mean the Survey Corps has been fighting their comrades for years. That's so weird. And how would that work? Do baby titans burst out of--" 

Then the ruse dawned on him. A soft smile bloomed on his face as he shook his head lightly. Red curls peeking out from his bandana swayed with the motion. 

She stopped, and signalled the others to do the same. "You good?"

"Yeah. See you." Slowly but surely, he continued to descend alone. Meter by meter, then by half-meter increments, human approached titan.

The aberrant suddenly twitched. Belly up, with palms and soles laid flat on the ground, it looked like a grotesque frog eyeing its prey.

Ignaz squeezed the control levers, to no effect. He tried the gas levers. Nothing. The terror in his eyes made her blood freeze. "Elke!"

"Hans, cover me. Marg, Stef, kill it!" She dislodged her grapple hook, and kicked off of the wall with a gas boost. 

She anchored high above Ignaz, so when the wire pulled taut, her downward plunge shifted into a pendulum swing that intersected with his position. "Naz, arms up!"

Maw wide open, the aberrant jumped. Elke released her left blade, and hauled Ignaz up by the torso. 

However, a moment was all it took for gigantic teeth to snap shut below his knees, taking both his boots and the swords that dangled from his gear wires. 

Blood gushed from the bite.

In retaliation, she slashed its eye, and left ultrahard steel plunged in the aberrant's socket. Hans cut off giant fingers aiming to pluck her from the air. Stefan and Margit dealt the fatal blow. 

Halfway up, Ignaz snapped out of his stupor straight into screaming panic. Her hold switched into a two-arm carry as she raced up the Wall, assisted by the inertia of continuous pulls and gas boosts.

Using his bandana, and the hair scarf that kept her braided bun intact, Elke tied a tourniquet around each stump to stem the bleeding. 

She glanced towards the supply crate where her med kit was, but doubted her experience would serve her well.

Sewing this wound shut applied similar principles as sealing sawn off thumbs and fixing torn vaginal walls, she knew this. And yet, the fear of inflicting worse on her already suffering friend was unthinkable.

To Doctor Yeager it was. 

Detaching the heavy, bulky parts of Ignaz’s ODM gear, while necessary to lessen the travel time, made him twitch. His eyelids fluttered. His skin paled. 

Every pained groan dug a hole in her chest. An equipment malfunction, of all the times! 

Could she have been the bait instead? Should they have fought better for mounted cannons to be installed up here? What life awaited Ignaz after this? 

“It’s--it's alright. Stay with me.” Blinking back tears, she secured Ignaz in her arms, and tried to stand quickly without jostling his injuries.

Hans stumbled atop the Wall, followed by Margit and Stefan, also alive and well.

A sudden gush of relief warmed Elke's cold, blood-stained hands. Her breathing eased. Mind muddled with should haves and could haves cleared of irrelevant thoughts. Only what must be done mattered. 

"We're off to the Yeager's!" She sprinted towards Shiganshina.

Early sunset due to the Wall's shadows allowed for enough daylight en route to their destination. 

Her gear was functional and well-maintained. 

Marg could deliver the verbal report to their squad leader, debrief the team, and handle cleanup in her stead. 

Ignaz was young. Recovery was within reach should he make it past the surgery. The maximum speed afforded each crank of compressed gas allowed for a timely arrival, considering the shortest possible route crossing the main street.

Shouts followed behind her, but their words were drowned by the wind. Navigating Shiganshina didn't need thinking. She only had to hurry. 

Faster.

Faster!

It was only as she retracted a hook and failed to launch another that the repeated yells made sense. 

She had run out of fuel.


End file.
